Learning is an important part of life. We all have lessons to learn in life.
But wouldn’t it be great if we could speed up the process and get to the heart of the matter? You can do so by accepting the unavoidable realities of life.
If you want, you can ignore, deny, or fight them. It will only be a waste of time because reality always triumphs.
Why not save your energy for the classes that are actually tailored to you?
Here are five unquestionable realities that I’ve learnt to never challenge.
- You can’t rely on anything outside of yourself.
Almost everyone wants to feel safe. We want our partners, families, and friends to be trustworthy. We want to feel safe in our jobs, our homes, and our wallets. We hope for a joyful conclusion that will last the rest of our lives.
Things tend to come together, fall apart, come together again, fall apart again, as Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön eloquently observed.
Even though it’s happened to us many times before, we’re nevertheless taken aback each time they fall apart.
During the three-month lava eruption on Hawaii’s Big Island in 2018, I lost my home, land, and things. As luck would have it, other major losses occurred at the same time.
I was taken aback at first. I fought back. I sobbed. I let out a shriek. But, unlike in the past, I was able to find my strength, clarity, and power far sooner.
Why? Because, through time, I’ve come to terms with the reality of impermanence. Every day, I remind myself of it.
At the moment, my life is rather stable. However, a recent 6.2 earthquake reminded me that external factors may, and frequently do, change in an instant.
Radical occurrences, such as the pandemic, can tear the rug from under your feet. Personal events can also conspire against you, such as a job loss, a car accident, or a personal betrayal. And, on sometimes, several come together to deliver the most powerful punch of all.
Appreciate the externals, but don’t put your pleasure in their hands. Don’t be stupid enough to believe that the good times will stay forever, just to be disappointed when they don’t.
Instead, work on building your self-assurance, character, and connection to your genuine self every day—even when the sky is blue, the flowers are blooming, and the happiness seems endless.
Because things are bound to change. Whatever occurs outside, your inner strength, confidence, and wisdom will bring you through if you genuinely accept the truth of impermanence.
“Life is a succession of natural and unplanned transitions.” Resisting them will just make you sad. Allow reality to play out. Allow things to flow spontaneously in whatever direction they want.” —The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu
Life lessons to live by | Deep life lessons #lifelessons #personalgrowth #positivechange 5 vital life lessons to help you make positive personal changes + grow personally + spiritually | Life lessons to live by
- You Must Carry Out Your Emotional Assignments
Unless you take control of your emotional patterns, negative cognitions, and habits, they can govern your life and cause you to act in ways that don’t bring you happiness.
Some people use busyness as a coping mechanism to avoid facing their problems. Some people abuse addictive substances in order to avoid experiencing pain. Spiritual by-passing is a propensity in which people use meditation and ostensibly higher realms of consciousness to avoid dealing with painful feelings, childhood wounds, and developmental gaps.
I exploited busyness as an escape mechanism. “There’s nothing wrong with me,” I insisted. But the lingering effects of trauma compelled me to seek help.
Over the last few years, I’ve worked on my emotional patterns, which has made me emotionally and spiritually stronger. The previous year has taught me that I need to dive even deeper into emotional recovery in order to avoid falling into the same traps that lead to nothing but misery.
You’ll just be repeating the same patterns if you don’t address your incorrect ideas, emotional issues, and unhealthy habits. You may have joyful days now and then when all the external factors align, but true happiness will elude you.
“Decide every day to be the master of your own destiny—you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
Jennifer Louden (Jennifer Louden)
- It Takes Time for Your Emotions and Experiences to Be Processed
Isn’t it lovely to be able to love completely, forgive readily, and relax into whatever life throws at you?
We want to love, but we end up hurting others. We want to forgive, yet we can’t let go of our grudges. We want to unwind, but anxiety creeps into our lives.
You can’t immediately push oneself to be different. Healing our deeply ingrained patterns takes time, focus, and courage. However, if the correct conditions are in place, continuous growth will occur. It may start slowly, but it will pick up speed, and you’ll probably take a few risks along the way.
Meanwhile, learn to accept oneself completely and without judgment. Accept your personal growth at its own rate without putting pressure on yourself to go quicker, criticizing yourself for not having progressed further, or punishing yourself for making a mistake.
Always remember to be kind to yourself.
“I did what I knew how to do at the time.” I’m doing better now that I know better.” Maya Angelou is a poet, author, and activist.
- The Purpose of Your Life Isn’t Typical Happiness
Have you ever pondered if life is more than just working, gaining stuff, and having a lot of different relationships?
Your life’s purpose isn’t to be happy in the traditional sense. Consider all the times you’ve been content as circumstances changed. Did your joy go as soon as you opened the door?
I’m sure it did. Externals have already proven to be unreliable.
Is there a more lasting sort of happiness that we might pursue?
Eckhart Tolle, a contemporary spiritual teacher, struggled with despair and anxiety for the first three decades of his life.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to him: Who is aware of these suicidal and melancholy thoughts? Is it just me or are there two of us? This resulted in a spiritual awakening and a lasting level of tranquility that he had never imagined possible before.
The majority of us will not awaken in the same way that Tolle did. We can, however, learn to relax our brains. We can learn to separate ourselves from our thoughts and feelings. Instead, we might connect with a higher level of awareness that exists beneath and beyond them.
Don’t look for happiness in the traditional sense. It may be found for a short while, but it will never last. Instead, concentrate on uncovering who you truly are at the most fundamental level—your mind’s ever-present and unchangeable core.
“You achieve serenity by discovering who you are at the deepest level, not by altering the circumstances of your life.” —Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now”
- You’re Growing Older Every Day
You’re getting older every day, no matter what age you are.
Allow your mortality to encourage you to focus less on worldly gains and more on fostering the human characteristics that matter most—kindness, love, grace, and tolerance—rather than closing your eyes to it.
Allow the prospect of becoming older to motivate you to create goals and make good use of your time. After all, the hourglass is always slipping sand through it. As the Tibetans say, you never know what tomorrow or the next life will bring.
People die in their twenties all the time, no matter how old they are. Whatever your age, being aware of your own mortality can help you sort out your priorities.
“There is no time for regrets or uncertainties in a world where death is the hunter, my friend.” There is just so much time to make decisions.” —Castaneda, Carlos
Final Thoughts
We’re all yearning for a tranquil haven to retreat to. Certainly, we require a break. Take advantage of the tranquil times that come your way, and never feel guilty about taking care of yourself.
However, the cosmos will not abandon you indefinitely. It wants you to “get it,” so it will keep giving you life lessons until you do. Accept these five unavoidable truths as soon as possible to make things easier:
- You can’t rely on anything outside of yourself.
- You’ll need to complete your emotional homework.
- It takes time for your emotions and experiences to be processed
- It isn’t your life’s mission to be happy in the traditional sense.
- You’re getting older by the day.
Because we’re all human, there will be opposition. However, if you keep these principles in mind, your resistance will gradually fade away. Even if resistance occurs as a result of a difficulty, your wisdom mind will emerge as well.
Don’t put up a struggle with reality. Reality is always victorious. Instead, accept these and all other incontrovertible realities that you come across. You’ll be able to live with lot greater ease if you do so.
